When we're worried about something, "What if?" is the enemy. What if w
e mess up at work? What if we can't complete our goals? What if everything
falls apart?
Our default is to dwell on the potential of bad outcomes. As psychologist Rick
Hanson explains in his book "Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science o
and before we know it, one troublesome thought can spiral out of control,
leading to even more anxiety.
For those who deal with anxiety and anxiety disorders on a daily basis, it
can be challenging to put an end to a fearful thought before it shifts into
chronic stress. Fortunately, there are ways to train your brain to stop a
worry-ridden thought in its tracks, says Peter Norton, a professor of
omething to be there, the more likely you are to find evidence of it, so
sometimes people can mislead themselves [when they're having an anxious
thought]," Norton tells The Huffington Post. Our deep trust in our own thinking
is what leads us astray -- but it's also what can help us get back on track, he
explains.
Here are some expert tips for getting rid of an anxious thought,
before it's able to spiral out of control:
1. Get in touch with how you're feeling.
The first step to eliminating an anxious thought is to recognize when you're f
eeling an emotional shift, Norton says. "Really allow changes in your
emotions to be a guide to take a step back," he says. "Those changes in
emotions are [the first] red flag."
That's because our thoughts have a way of deceiving our emotions -- in
other words, we aren't able to separate logic from feelings in a worry spiral.
"It's very common for people to not really be an astute observer of their own
thoughts," Norton says. "Because we're so used to trusting our brains, it's very
difficult for us to sometimes take that step back and think about our own
thoughts and say, 'OK, I believe this is happening, let me reevaluate
whether or not that's true.'"
2. Don't try to put it out of your mind.
It may sound like a paradox, but avoiding fearful thoughts actually makes
anxiety worse, explains Dr. Mickey Trockel, M.D., a psychiatrist and clinical
assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University.
"The biggest concern is when anxiety starts to create an avoidance cycle,"
Trockel tells The Huffington Post. "When something is provoking those emotions,
then avoiding it feels good -- and because that feels good, it's reinforcing the
anxiety. Then, the next time the situation comes up, without any conscious
decision-making, it creates greater intensity."
Norton suggests confronting your initial anxiety in a mindful manner to keep it
from worsening. Otherwise, avoiding those worrisome thoughts may cause
hem to manifest in other ways, such as nightmares or flashbacks. "Challenge
your own thoughts and diffuse them, rather than hide them underneath
the rug," he says.
3. Ask yourself questions that put your fears in perspective.
This trick, which is used in cognitive behavioral therapy techniques for severe
anxiety, allows you to step outside of how you're feeling and approach your
thoughts in a logical way. "Evaluate the evidence for and against that thought,
" Norton advises. "Weighing the evidence back and forth will help you come to a more rational view of the situation."
Norton suggests mentally asking yourself questions in a way that reframes your
fear. For example, "What do I feel is so dangerous or so bad about this current
situation?" and "What do I think would be the worst outcome?" This prompts
you to challenge those thoughts and move on from there. "This will help you
learn to become a good observer of your own anxious thoughts," Norton says.
"It allows you to take a step back from them [and] reevaluate the likelihood
or the actual realities of the threat in order to try to come up with a less-biased
interpretation of the situation."
4. Confront your fear in small ways.
Once you've managed to reframe your fear, Norton advises taking baby
steps to overcome it. "Start with easier fears or easier situations first, then
move up to more difficult ones as you become more successful in
confronting your fears," Norton says. For example: If you get anxious
during public speaking, practice in front of a friend or two first. Doing
this will give you time to build up your resilience to the anxiety.
5. Practice mindfulness meditation.
To eliminate anxiety-driven thoughts before they take off, Norton
advises employing relaxation practices to calm your mind and the
rest of your body. "The body and the mind work in concert," Norton
explains. "If one side is fired up, the other side is getting fired up. So by
trying to relax or decrease your level of arousal, whether through
meditation, relaxation exercises or deep breathing, you can typically
start to bring the mental side of things down along with it."
Trockel suggests setting aside just five minutes to practice mindfulness
meditation exercises. By spending those moments just focusing on your
breathing, you can eliminate the temptation of letting your mind wander to
the worst-possible scenario. "The goal isn't to breathe in a certain way, but
rather to allow one's attention to focus on the sensation of breathing," he
says. "Just five minutes of practice will make it easy to manage anxiety and
allow you try it on the spot [when you start to experience those emotions]."
The practice also has long-term benefits if done regularly. Mindfulness
6. Gradually build on your successes.
Once you're able to catch yourself ruminating on an anxious thought, Norton
says it's all about practice until it becomes more second nature. "Try to short
circuit that chain of thoughts and reevaluate the assumptions there,"
he explains. "Once you're comfortable with [what makes you fearful],
move up to a more difficult situation. The great thing about confronting
the fears is it also works well in concert with the thought challenging.
It gives the person an opportunity to test out what really does happen in
a situation ... and you can actually see what's more likely to come true."
Trockel says no matter how you address anxiety, the most important thing is recognizing when you're feeling stressed, and actively working to conquer it so
it doesn't consume you. "If [anxiety is] left unchecked, it can zap your energy
and make life less fun," he says. "Don't allow it to change what you really
want to do."
