Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Wordiness: Danger Signals and Ways to React

Wordiness: Danger Signals and Ways to React



Wordiness: Danger Signals and Ways to React

Written by Margaret Procter, Writing Support   
One of the most efficient ways to improve your writing is to edit it for conciseness. You may have been struggling to think ideas through as you wrote, and piled up alternative wordings. Or you may have fallen into the habit of using more words than necessary just to use up space. If you can let your original draft "cool down" a while, you will find it easy to recognize unnecessary words and edit them out. Your reader will thank you! Here are some common patterns of wordiness, with sensible things to do about them.
Doubling of Words (choose one):
mutual agreement (agreement)future prospects (prospects)
consensus of opinion (consensus)reconsider again (reconsider)
whether or not (whether)inadvertent error (error)
Intensifiers, Qualifiers (omit or give specific details):
veryreally
extremelydefinitely
a considerable amount ofto a certain extent
Formulaic Phrases (use a one-word form or omit):
for the purpose of (to)due to the fact that (because)
at this point in time (now)in the near future (soon)
with regard to (about)in view of the fact that (because)
as the case may be (—-)Basically, . . . (—-)
Catch-all Terms (can sometimes omit):
aspectfieldquality
casekindsituation
factmattersort
factornaturething
featureproblemtype
weakA surprising aspect of most labour negotiations is their friendly quality.
improvedMost labour negotiations are surprisingly friendly.
weakThe fact of the war had the effect of causing many changes.
improvedThe war caused many changes.
Padded Verbs (use a one-word form):
to have an expectation, hope, wish, understanding, etc.
(to expect, hope, wish understand, etc.)
to make an arrangement, plan, decision, inquiry, acquisition, etc.
(to arrange, plan, decide, inquire, acquire, etc.)
Unnecessary "to be" and "being" (omit):
weakThe program is considered to be effective.
improvedThe program is considered effective OR The program is effective.
weakbecause of the terrain being rough
improvedbecause of the rough terrain
Passive Verbs (change to active voice, if possible with a personal subject):
weakIt is felt that an exercise program should be attempted by this patient before any surgery is performed.
improvedThe patient should attempt an exercise program before surgery.
improvedI recommend that the patient attempt an exercise program before surgery.
improvedMr. Lee, please do these exercises every day for six weeks to strengthen your leg muscles before we try any more surgery.
weakThe bevelling jig is said by most users to be faulty.
improvedMost users say the bevelling jig is faulty.
Overuse of Relative Structures ("Who," "Which," "That") (omit when possible ):
weakThe novel, which is entitled Ulysses, takes place . . .
improvedThe novel Ulysses takes place . . .
weakIt was Confucius who said . . .
improvedConfucius said . . .
weakI think that X is the case. . .
improvedX is the case, as this evidence shows: . . .
weakThere is a tendency among many writers who may be seen to display certain signs of lack of confidence that their sentences will be overloaded with relative clauses and other words which are generally useless in function.
improvedMany hesitant writers overload their sentences with relative clauses and other useless words.




 http://www.writing.utoronto.ca/advice/style-and-editing/wordiness









  Toronto University Writing Support (2014) Retrieved from http://www.writing.utoronto.ca/advice/style-and-

        editing/wordiness


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